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7 responses to “Common Condiment Helps Save Gulf Sea Turtles”

  1. Grandpa Wiggly

    I’m a mayonnaise enthusiast and a staunch advocate of the life-saving power of mayonnaise. Mayonnaise saved the lives of Jewish children from the Nazis during World War II. Now mayonnaise is saving hundreds of sea turtles from a crude black death. Did you know mayonnaise is the world’s most powerful shock absorber? Well, it is!

    In a recent study, airbags were shown to be associated with a slightly increased probability of death in automobile accidents. Each year there are numerous deaths attributed to air bag deployments, mainly to children and adults of small stature (carnies!). If we replaced airbags in automobiles with quick deploying mayonnaise we could save countless lives each year. Even if an automobile accident victim becomes completely submerged in mayonnaise, she can always eat her way out. The research was funded by a grant from The Wiggly School.

    I recently wrote to my Congressman explaining in lurid detail the science behind the use of mayonnaise as a safety goo. Write your Congressman today and demand that Congress take action implementing the replacement of airbags with mayonnaise immediately.

    Mayonnaise: Is there anything it can’t do?

  2. Bob

    That’s awesome that they’ve found a practical use for mayo… Ever since I worked at a sub shop, I can’t even think about mayo without losing my appetite. Yuck.

  3. Piter

    I wonder if Veganaise would work as well!

  4. Jim Ries

    Great article. The founders (Carter age 9.5 and his sister Olivia age-8) of One More Generation (OMG) were just down in New Orleans delivering badly needed supplies to the Marine Mammal and Sea Turtle Rescue Center. These two amazing kids had been collecting the supplies since the oil spill happened. We got to see first hand how these very same items were helping the over 142 oiled sea turtles.

    Thanks for the great report. If you are interested, you might want to check out OMG’s website (www.onemoregeneration.org) and see what these two amazing elementary students are accomplishing. Who knows, you may even decide to do a story on them.

    Thanks again and we look forward to more of your work.

  5. WillWayne

    So they’re using the existing oil-water suspension made possible by the power of the lecithin in egg yolks to remove oil?

    Makes sense. Why not just bathe them in egg yolks though?

  6. oliver

    Mayonaisse 1. “Miracle” whip 0.

    Mayo wins again.

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  1. Mayonnaise Saves Sea Turtles | Grandpa Wiggly

    [...] As most of you know, I’m a mayonnaise enthusiast and a staunch advocate of the life-saving power of mayonnaise. Mayonnaise saved the lives of Jewish children from the Nazis during World War II. Now mayonnaise is being used to save the lives of hundreds of gulf sea turtles from a crude black death. Beth Buczynski over at Crisp Green will tell you all about it: Common Condiment Helps Save Gulf Sea Turtles. [...]

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